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Posts tagged with "funny"
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More funny stuff from my Page-A-Day Calendars
posted by GJ on April 5, 2007 @ 1:50PM
Read all about it--what's for sale in the classifieds?
- Star Wars job of the hut--$15
- Soft & genital bath tissues or facial tissue, 89 cents
- For sale: lee majors (6 million dollar man) $50
- Bill's septic cleaning: "We haul American made products"
- German shepard: 85lbs. neutered. speaks German.
- Free: Farm kittens. Ready to eat.
Words of Wis-dumb
- "The National Museum of Photography, Film and Television is tremendously important, both in photography, television and film." (Sir Richard Attenborough)
- "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." (golfer Greg Norman)
- "The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being compatible with being a woman." (Rear Adm. James R. Hogg)
- "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." (George W. Bush)
Sunday Funnies
A young man was watching an NFL football game from way up in the upper deck when he noticed an empty seat in the front row at the 50-yard line. He went down and asked the old man sitting next to it if he knew whose seat it was.
"Yes," said the old man, "that's my wife's seat. We've never missed attending a game together, but now, I'm afraid, she is dead." The young man offered his sympathy and said it was really too bad that the old man couldn't find some relative to give the ticket to and enjoy the game together.
"I tried," the old man responded. "But they're all at the funeral."
| Tags: funny
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Heartbreaking story of abuse, just in
posted by GJ on April 5, 2007 @ 2:47PM
Edmonton, Canada - A seven year old boy was at the centre of an Edmonton courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Edmonton Oilers, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
| Tags: hockey, funny
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