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Lest you all think I'm a total curmudgeon...
posted by GJ on February 9, 2009 @ 11:38AM
...here's a story to take your mind off it. Watch the video too! And here's a few lame atheist jokes: (1) One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. Surprised, he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?" "Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother." (2) When some people came to dinner, the hostess turned to her six year old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," her mom answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
(3)
The Meaning of Easter
Three typical Americans die and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question: "What does Easter mean?".
St. Peter asks the first fellow, who smiles and replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday when we get eggs in baskets and candy from the Easter bunny..."
"WRONG!!!," replies St. Peter, and pushes the button sending him straight to H - E, double hockey sticks! (HELL!)
Then he proceeds to ask the second fellow the same question, "What does Easter mean?" The second guy hesitates and looks around. Finally he replies, "Easter... Easter... Easter is when we put on our Easter bonnets, with all the frills upon it, and be the grandest fella...."
"WRONG!!!" replies St. Peter who shakes his head in disgust, and pulls the leaver sending him down into the eternal flames. He then peers at the third man and asks, "I hope you can tell me what Easter means?"
The third fellow nervously smiled then said, "I know, I know what Easter is... Easter is the Christian holiday about Jesus... He and his disciples were eating at the last supper and... the Romans took him to be crucified... and he was hung on a cross, and then he was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed by a large boulder... And then they rolled the boulder away and Jesus came out... and saw his shadow and there were six more weeks of winter!"
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